Most often, a move represents an important step forward for the adults in the family because of a new job, promotion, transfer to a different office, or financial success has allowed them to buy a more comfortable house in a different neighborhood. Moving from one house to another is seldom easy and enjoyable for adults (who chose to move), and can be especially troubling for children (who prefer to stay where they are). But if parents are mindful of their children’s concerns and needs, they can minimize distress and discomfort.

 

A Move Affects Children and Adults Differently


People typically live in a house for about five years and then move on as their jobs and incomes allow. Five years is a small percentage of an adult’s life, but it’s half the lifetime of a 10-year old: It includes almost all the years he or she can remember. It may be the only home the child’s ever known, and the place s/he feels most safe and comfortable.

A house is much more than a place to live to children. It’s the center of their world, associated with familiar activities, sights, and sounds. A move threatens a child’s security and leaves something unknown in its place. Their friends, and the familiar streets, schools, shops, trees and parks are gone. The new neighborhood is someone else’s world.

The impact of a move on a child starts about the time he or she first hears about it, and often continues until the new house becomes home. It’s not necessary to tell young children about this big change immediately, although they must hear about it from their parents before someone else tells them.


Expect that your children may be even more distressed after the move. The new house will not be comfortable or beautiful the night the moving van leaves, or for months after. The furniture won’t fit the rooms, and the floor will be covered with half-unpacked boxes. The children won’t know anyone at school and, if you move during the summer, they may have little opportunity to meet others their age. They’ll need your help: Plan ahead to support and comfort them and ease the stress of the move.



Easing the Stress of the Move

Young Children Have Special Needs


Describe the move in a truthful, positive way. Tell upbeat stories about the
benefits of the new house and location. Plan together to make the new setting feel like home:


  • Ask about their favorite activities (e.g., soccer), and plan to investigate youth programs in the new community.
  • Ask what they like best about the present house (e.g., the swimming pool) and assure them that you’ll find a place for them to swim in the new town.
  • Ask what they like best about the neighborhood (e.g., their friends), and make plans to invite the children on the block to a Welcome To the Neighborhood Party once you’ve settled in.
  • Ask what they like the most about their school (e.g., their teacher), and let them know that you’ll request a tour of their new school and a chance to meet their teacher beforehand.
  • Ask what they like most about their community (e.g., the video game parlor), and assure them that those activities will be available in the new location.
  • Use children’s literature. Books can help children prepare for and understand difficult situations. Story characters who model successful coping strategies are an excellent resource for children.
  • If the new home is too far away for the entire family to visit, show the children pictures of the house, yard, and neighborhood. Videotape it if you can. Include pictures of each child’s new room.
  • Ask the children to name the house with an inviting description, like “Oak Hill,” for the big trees and sloping lawn.

• Young children need protection from fear of the unknown. Listen carefully to their concerns and respond quickly to relieve their apprehensions. It’s normal, for instance, for a young child to worry that his or her toy box and shelf of stuffed animals might be left behind. Uncover those anxieties by actively involving your children in the process.

• Don’t just promise to let them decorate their own rooms – take them to the paint store and let them bring home color swatches. Shop together for bedspreads and towels and carpets.

• They must leave old friends behind. Plan a going-away party and let them invite their own guests to bring closure to that parting.

• Take pictures of everyone and make a photo album. If a child is old enough, send him or her out with a roll of film in the camera and the assignment to photograph the scenes he’ll want to remember.

• Give each of them extra screen time so they can keep in touch with people who are important to them.

• Buy a stack of picture postcards that show positive views of your new community and encourage them to write messages to the friends and relatives they left behind.

• Try to pack children’s things last and include them in the packing process.

• Keep security objects such as a favorite teddy bear or blanket close by. Keep your routine as normal as possible. Regular eating and nap times are important.

Encourage children to get outside and get to know the people and the neighborhood. Encourage older children to distribute fliers for babysitting, lawn care, or car washing. Encourage them to participate in school activities that appeal to them. Get them on sports teams and into clubs. Throw a housewarming party for yourselves and invite all the adults and children on the block.


Teenagers


Most teenagers see themselves as adult members of the family, and may feel disrespected if they don’t hear about the move early in the process. Also, they’ll need time to work through the ordeal of leaving their friends.
Ending relationships and saying goodbyes takes time, and is best done before the move. Some relationships will be extremely difficult to bring to an end, and these will require thoughtful, personalized planning. How, for instance, do you move a 17-year-old a thousand miles from her steady boyfriend? Even though teens seem more advanced in their social skills, they may worry a lot about making friends and fitting in. Visit their new school and check out local activities and employment opportunities for young people.


Communities have their own culture and way of doing things, and this is often reflected in the way teens dress. How they look is really important to teens. Before spending money on a new school wardrobe, your teen may want to observe what’s “in.” Purchasing a few new outfits can often help a teen feel more comfortable. It’s particularly important to let teens known that you want to hear about, and respect, their concerns. Blanket assurances may seem to your teen like you’re dismissing his or her feelings. It may help to explain that the move is a type of rehearsal for future changes, like college or a new job.


At any age, get help if emotional problems arise. Ask a teacher for assistance. Consider professional counseling. Don’t let a serious problem slide. Eventually, the strangeness and temporary discomforts should diminish. New friends will become good friends. The new house may become the family gathering place that your grandchildren will visit on holidays. In the long run, everything will work out fine.


This article courtecy off Michael Tudorie

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Doing Spring Cleaning... in Spring

If you're waiting until Spring to start emptying your house, you've waited too long. Vancouver's real estate market has cooled, and that means you cannot wait around. 


Instead of waiting, start after the confetti's settled from your New Year's party. This gives you a major time advantage if you decide to list in the Spring, and may also mean lower costs for disposal, storage, etc. due to the slow season. 


Thinking of downsizing? Just thinking of de-cluttering a home can be challenging, let alone actually starting the job.


Through your realtor, hiring someone to help de-clutter is a great way to help you detach yourself from your stuff, creating a plan to slowly and methodically removing things you don’t need or want. 



And best of all, with some extra cash and all the newfound space, you can make some small improvements that'll increase your home's value too! 

Finally Talking To The One Realtor You See Most Often


There are many realtors in Vancouver. Yet, many people will often choose the one they see the most, either in-person , on their note pads, on the grocery cart or bench buses. 



You should give them a chance, but you should also interview a couple more agents to see who's out there. You wouldn't shop at one car dealership, so why stop at just one realtor? 


Think of it like getting a Second Opinion, which is what you should do for anything as important as buying or selling a home.

Asking Your Neighbour What They Sold Their Home For

Many home sellers immediately go to their neighbours and the news to determine what they feel their home is worth. 


The problem is that this may immediately set unrealistic expectations, setting in motion a process that grinds to a halt when a realtor gives a realistic estimate of what a home's really worth. 


To prevent this, if you're thinking of selling your home, call a realtor and ask for a valuation. Once it's provided, call another realtor for a Second Opinion. 


Not only does this set your expectations properly, but it also helps you become a savvier seller, removing some of the personal attachment from your asset. 



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For many people, few things can be scarier than buying a home. But it doesn’t have to be!


In anticipation of Halloween, I’ve learned that buying a home is a lot like picking a pumpkin!
If you know the right tricks, your home search will be a treat.


Oh, and once you’re done reading, I have a special treat below for you! 

If you don’t move fast, you’ll lose out. 

Bringing home a sad, mangled pumpkin resembling Freddy Krueger’s face is no treat. If you’re

late to the pumpkin patch party, you’ll have squashed your chances of finding the perfect Jack-O-Lantern. 


For homebuyers, moving quickly and decisively is a must. With the help of a savvy, smart realtor, buyers will have a plan in place before beginning their search.


Remember, the early trick-or-treater gets the gummy worm. 

You’ll get stuck in the muck.  

Didn’t wear boots to the pumpkin patch? 


Without proper footwear, you can forget getting the pumpkin you really want, or end up paying a lot afterwards for one the farmer’s picked out, even though your sneakers are caked in crud. 


Pumpkin hunting’s dirty, and even if you’re careful, it’s not uncommon to get muddy. 


Realtors work hard to avoid deals getting bogged down in the muck of paperwork or legal issues. But no deal is ever hassle-free, and you’ll need to be mentally and financially ready to tackle unexpected scenarios. 


That’s why it’s important to work with an experienced realtor early, preparing to shield you from problems and unforeseen consequences. 


Without planning, you may find yourself in a prolonged deal, costing you thousands in potential fees or taxes. 

You’ll always want a second opinion.

Whether it’s asking your children if the pumpkin’s a little lumpy, or your friends if the design is a spooky enough, you’ll be wanting a second opinion on your Jack-O-Lantern before it hits the porch. 


When searching realtors and evaluating their processes, it’s good to get a second opinion from an experienced realtor, who’ll tell you if something is looking “a little lumpy” too. 


If you’re searching for a haunted house of your own, be sure to check one out at this year’s Kits House Autumn Fair! Admission is free for all entertainment! 


I’m proud to sponsor this organization’s yearly event, complete with food trucks, musicians, a pancake breakfast, and many other family friendly events. 


Of course, if you’re looking for a real haunted house, or something with a fireplace for the autumn evenings, I can help you with that too! Call Michael Tudorie today at 604.919.7777. 


Image Credit: https://www.deviantart.com/spacecadetamy/art/The-Pumpkin-House-183963146

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You never know what interesting things you'll see in Kitsilano! In this instance, we have a public art installation entitled "Vancouver Novel" that was erected in 2014 as part of Vancouver Biennale.

 

The digital sign displays different random messages every couple of minutes. Every time I pass by, I always make sure to look and see what it says this time!

 

 

You can learn more about the piece here: http://www.vancouverbiennale.com/pop-...

 

If you'd like more information about the Kitsilano or Point Grey neighbourhood or are considering a move to the area, reach out to me and I'd be glad to help you find any information you need. 604-910-7777

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The Kitsilano Showboat stage has been a fixture in the Kits community for more than 70 years.

Performers from all over the world come to showcase their talent and entertain residents of the Kitsilano neighbourhood.

Stay tuned for our next video to discover another treasure of the Kitsilano community.

Have questions about Kits? Feel free to contact me anytime at 604-910-777 or michael@michaeltudorie.com

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Our second video in the Discover Kitsilano series will take you to an often-missed building in the Kits Point area - the Vancouver Academy of Music.

The building is unassuming and blends well with the surrounding landscape without drawing undue attention to itself. Many people drive right past it without realizing it's even there.

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